Accusations Without Proof Presents: A&W - The Modern Day Los Pollos Hermanos

Making inflammatory and unfounded accusations about someone / something is as American as Cardi B riding a John Deere. This may or may not turn into a running series, as I've got plenty of problems with you people. For now, we're going to start with my contention that A&W Restaurants is the modern-day Los Pollos Hermanos (hereinafter referred to as "LPH").

There's probably a higher percentage of people reading this more familiar with LPH than A&W. Then again, flat-earthers and Paterno truthers are still a thing so I’ll play it safe and quickly set the table. We all know about Breaking Bad, the internet-consensus GOAT Until-Game-of-Thrones-Came-Along-And-Also-Might-Now-Be-Second-To-Better-Call-Saul....TV show. Main character Walter White decides he'd rather be in jail vs. spending one more second with his insufferable wife and kid, so he starts cooking blue meth to pass the time. Eventually, the distribution of Blue Stuff is concealed through fast food chain LPH, and ruthless drug kingpin Gus Fring.

I contend A&W is running a similar operation. If you don't know what A&W is, that's kind of the point. The name is basically synonymous with incredibly underwhelming fast food in extremely bizarre and random locations through the US and Canada.

We all know how insane fast food competition is. The advent of mobile delivery services, big names like McDonald's and Chick-Fil-A, and other major fast food chain consolidation have all made selling a normal burger & fries nearly impossible.. So how does A&W stay in business? Trafficking meth, of course.

I'll get to the iron-clad specifics in a second, but I'd first like to ask a basic question: Have you or anybody you've ever known been to an A&W? Besides the root beer, do you even know what's on the menu? What does the interior decor even look like? Who in their right mind would go to an A&W with a Wendy's inevitably within 2 miles? A&W is like the token virgin on your favorite dating show. Nobody has ever been inside, but sticks around a lot longer than you'd think. Let's explore some potential clues:

• Ownership: A&W has gone through various ownership changes since it's inception in 1923 but I'd like to focus on the most recent one. In 2011, fast food giant Yum! Brands (Taco Bell, KFC, etc...) sold the A&W brand to A Great American Restaurant LLC, a group comprised of only A&W franchisees. Basically, this made A&W it's own entity, much less subject to the red tape/checks & balances of a massive company like Yum!. Interestingly, this timeline falls right in line with the rise of LPH in Breaking Bad. Just two years earlier in 2009, we were introduced to Gus Fring. Throughout Season 3 and 4 in 2010 - 2011, viewers became intimately aware of the inner workings of the drug trafficking giant. We witnessed how the operation even fooled one of the smartest and most intuitive detectives in TV history, Hank Schrader. So the question is, were the A&W franchise owners inspired?

• Border Control: On Breaking Bad, the trucks carrying LPH chicken were the catalyst of transporting concealed meth between the Mexican cartel and USA manufacturing operation. A&W doesn't have any Mexican operations but does have plenty in Canada. And wouldn't you know it....meth use is on the rise in the Great White North. A&W's only other operations are in Malaysia, Thailand, and Japan. Far away from North American authorities and great places for laundering money. Can this really be a coincidence?

• Locations: The current franchise count for A&W restaurants is about 1,200. For comparison, Long John Silver's has LESS - about 1,100. Other franchises in that realm include Buffalo Wild Wings (1,175), Jersey Mikes (1,000), Five Guys and Carl's Jr. (1,500-ish each). So why do I feel like I've seen maybe three A&W's in my entire life? And more so, how do they make money if they are so sparsely populated? One might argue A&W chooses less desirable locations hence smaller overhead/real estate costs, but location is everything in retail and you still need sales. Lack of high-trafficked store frontage would likely mean less eyeballs to conceal shady activity. Something else has to be keeping them afloat.

• Who Is Gus Fring? This is a tough one. Current A&W CEO Kevin Bazner has a squeaky clean image, but we all know that's a telltale sign of a psychopath. Former restaurant brand owner Alfred Taubman was convicted of a price-fixing scheme in 2002, a crime equally as heinous as drug trafficking and murder. Another former CEO Dale Mulder has credited himself with inventing the bacon cheeseburger in 1962, a claim almost as disingenuous as your grandfather inventing the Cobb Salad. Bottom line - these men have all demonstrated indisputable character flaws, so don't be surprised if you see their mugshot in the news some day for murdering a Canadian drug lord. That said, the point of being Gus Fring is to stay hidden, so they could just be cover for the real puppet master.

As mentioned in the beginning of this blog, I know what I have isn't exactly PROOF. But what really is proof? The lack of hard evidence doesn't make my contentions any less convincing, so I think we can all agree to keep a vigilant eye on A&W going forward. We'll explore more topics in the coming weeks.