Penguins Latest: Johnson, Murray, Easy-Mac, and Van Halen

Like the soundtrack to this blog was going to be anybody but Jack Johnson.

So...things have happened in Penguins land. We'll get to big sexy JJ towards the end, but for now, the skinny on some other news ahead of the draft.

Dominik Simon: The Penguins declined to extend a qualifying offer to Dominik Simon, finally moving on from the right winger after a handful of somewhat frustrating years which culminated in a long-term shoulder injury.

There was perhaps no greater microcosm of modern hockey analysis culture than Simon's tenure in Pittsburgh. Loathed by Boomers due an inability to put up tangible offense and beloved by the Corsi Contingent, there was plenty of Fighting Online over the otherwise incredibly vanilla Czech.

Over his last 3 seasons, Simon managed just 18 goals TOTAL despite being a 54%-ish CF% player. His two most common linemates were Crosby and Guentzel, while his two most common D-men were Letang and Dumo. Not good enough. He's a useful possession player who won't kill you defensively but will never catch on as a bon-a-fide difference maker due to his lack of finishing ability. Them's the breaks - best of luck.

Speaking of polarizing right wingers, here's how he stacks up to some other guy who might get similar deployment. Spoiler Alert: Simon is better defensively, while Kapanen has a little more scoring upside. Shocking! The thing I'll be paying attention to is how much KK's numbers improve with much better QoT (Quality of Teammate).

via HockeyViz

Tristian Jarry: Get used to those baby blues, bitch. The Penguins picked their horse, and thy name is Tristian Jarry. No surprise whatsoever. The contract is incredibly reasonable. Jarry was an All-Star last year and is more than capable of providing league-average (or better) goaltending. I am not a fan of overextending for goalies, with term or money, ever. Too much volatility. Ask Florida, Montreal, Vegas, and Anaheim how much they're enjoying goalie cap hell. No need to overthink this - gold star for GMJR on this deal. Good luck to Jarry on dealing with the media buzzards after he gives up four goals to the Flyers in a meaningless January matinee.

Matt Murray: Farewell, sweet prince. Murray is now an Ottawa Senator. It's interesting Ottawa's nickname is a politician, considering anyone who signs there probably asks themselves daily how much money their honor is worth.

Murray, though, had limited say in the matter as he was traded by a team who had no ability to sign him.

There is no need to overthink the trade. It was a victory. The chatter was everything from losing him for nothing, to a 7th rounder, to possibly having to even take on someone else's salary. It was a massively saturated UFA goalie market.

Instead, they got a cap space, a 2nd round pick, and a young prospect in Johnathan Gruden who is a 1.11 PPG player in the highly competitive OHL. That kind of production means solid potential, but it really doesn't matter if he ever plays an NHL game. Mission accomplished. And hey, maybe we'll get some awesome Jon Gruden memes. Knock if you're with me, man.

Murray's contributions to the franchise will never be marginalized. How about the BDE on this guy during the 2016 - 2017 playoff runs? The Pens are stuck on 3 Cups without him. He will be deserving of whatever sappy tribute video the Penguins PR department plays on Ottawa's first trip to Pittsburgh. Incredible player - but business is business. Don't pay goalies.

Jared McCann: Necessity. The Pens have a gaping hole at 3C they'd ideally like to fill through free agency, but you need a backup plan since that route ain't gonna be cheap. The ability to lock down a cost-controlled veteran who can move up/down the lineup and play the position in a pinch was pertinent for that reason and that reason only. McCann has been brutal on offensive given what was expected of him.

I don't feel great about McCann's chances for improvement considering I have no idea who his linemates are going to be. Tanev? Sceviour? I wouldn't rule out McCann being traded prior to the season. The 3rd line is the Penguins biggest weakness, and should be top priority for GMJR moving forward. The contract is movable. The defense will drastically improve and you already have a "shut-down" 4th line. Go get some fucking offense. Tyler Johnson???? Doubt it.

Speaking of an improved defense....Dale....drumroll please.....

Jack Johnson: Did you know....Jack Johnson's Wikipedia page indicates that he is "known as a capable two-way defenseman, combining physical prowess and offensive capabilities in his style of play." The internet don't lie, baby. Who wrote that, Bud Moonshine?

Look, I declared long ago I wasn't going to spend any more energy on this player. It would be lazy. Fans know the deal - the info is out there. I'm thrilled this is the last time I have to talk about it.

I'll get into my thoughts on analytics in a future blog, but generally, my credo is to treat them like cooking with a microwave. A critical part of the kitchen, but if you use it for every meal, things will get stale pretty quickly. Hockey is supposed to be fun, right? Analytics are dangerously close to being a (very boring) crutch for hockey Twitter. Take it from me...my girlfriend is sick of Easy-Mac.

Jack Johnson wasn't just despised by the analytics community. He was bad in all phases. He did not pass the eye test and failed in just about every situation throughout his career, including "winning". He was at his worst in Pittsburgh. It's odd to say that about someone who reached highest possible level of the sport, but puck don't lie.

I wish nothing but the best for the big son of a bitch wherever he ends up - by all accounts he was an phenomenal guy. He took a contract anybody in their right mind would take, especially after that mess with his parents. Unfortunately, guys like Gary Roberts, Billy Guerin, and Matt Cullen were also good teammates - but they didn't actively torpedo their team with every shift.

The Penguins are now a better team, and the buyout makes the Matheson signing much more palatable.

Last thing on JJ / GMJR: You have to look at this offseason shit as a whole. There are those in the community who roast GMJR no matter what he does, and the reaction to his post-season commentary on JJ was predictable. The Penguins rarely ever buy players out, so Rutherford obviously had every intention of trading him all along. Is he supposed to make his job harder by skewering the guy? Fuck off.

GMJR has often been stubborn, confounding, and petty more than enough times. He deserves blame for that. The JJ contract should have never been signed. He knows that. We know that. It is by far his worst move. There are probably better GMs available. Personally, I'd like to see the Penguins fire him and find some new blood.

But....he is also allowed to fix mistakes and make good moves. Multiple things can be true at once.

I know...I know...but he shouldn't have to undo his own mistakes so often!!! Fair enough, but at least he moves on. What boss have you ever worked for who loved admitting his mistakes? What GM hits on every move?

Bottom line: Let's calm down and see where things are in January. The job isn't as easy at it was 5 years ago - the core is aging. Every Pens fan agrees they are on track for improvement so far in 2021. And if not, well, we can start crying about Brandon Tanev.

Go Pens, and RIP Eddie Van Halen.