The Top 10 Forgotten GoT Villain Moments

If you haven't noticed by now, I'm a card-carrying member of the Bad Guy Fan Club. From The Lion King's Scar....to "I watched Jane die" Walter White....to murderin' Mike Myers, there's nothing I love more than rooting for the Bad Guy to Get Away With It. In the GoT universe, Joffrey's grapefruit colored face and Ramsay's mauling at the hands of his loyal dogs still rank among my most depressing moments.

Now before I get put on an FBI list - let me quickly explain.

A story is only as good as it's best bad guy. Does anybody really remember or care about the various subplots of the last two Batman movies? No. There's simply "The Heath Ledger Joker One" and "The Bane One".

Back to GoT: Before D&D ruined the show in Season 8, think back to which moments truly set your teeth on edge. Was it when sad boy Jon Snow was brooding over some cliff for the 376th time pondering his next move? When Brienne of Tarth was swearing her loyalty to whatever Stark happened to cross her plane of vision that day? Jaime knows the deal.

No. It was the shock of watching Joffrey force a petrified Sansa to stare at her father's decapitated head on a spike. Or Ramsay Bolton luring Jon Snow into the middle of the battlefield while murdering his little brother. Or the haunting keys of the Light of the Seven playing as Cersei annihilated hundreds of her countryfolk in the Sept of Baelor.

Again - villains are the lifeblood of storytelling. Without a compelling villain, you're often left with forgettable story full of characters who's fate you are totally uninvested in. Just ask whoever saw that movie with Jared Leto's Joker.

That doesn't mean I support killing, sexual assault, pillaging, lying, cheating, or stealing in REAL LIFE. It's a show about ice zombies and dragons, dude. Relax and enjoy the drama.

There are so many good Bad Guy Moments in GoT, so for those of you I haven't lost yet, we'll call this the Forgotten Top 10 (not including the three moments listed above since I'm already 30 minutes into this blog).

10. Jaime Pushes Bran Out the Window: The first "oh-shit" moment of the series that would set the tone for the next 8 years. Thrones wasn't fucking around. Kind of hard to blame sexy Jaime here. If that secret gets out, his entire family probably gets murdered by King Robert. The things we do for love!

9. The Mountain Treats The Viper's Head Like a Rotten Grape: Tons going on here. Obviously, the Mountain's crimes against Oberyn's family were incredibly heinous and lots of people hated seeing him win this match (not me). That said, Tywin and Cersei's total lack of concern for Tyrion being sentenced to death for a crime he 100% didn't commit was pretty SAVAGE, as the kids say. I for sure gasped when Viper's head went splat. Maybe if he would have kept it on a swivel instead of showboating, he'd still be alive.

8. The Red Wedding: Ok, so not really forgotten but it needs addressed. Were people actually mad about this? Holy shit, could you pick a more BORRRING family than the Starks. I mean obviously Rob's wife was an absolute rocket launcher and you hate to see her go, but talk about having the personality of a wooden fence post. Shoutout to Roose Bolton and House Frey for eliminating the Fun Suck Clan once and for all, and allowing the story to focus on the actual interesting Starks like Arya and Sansa. Not Bran though, he still blows.

7. Ramsay Takes Theon's Favorite Toy: I can't find this scene on YouTube, which is probably for the best. Captain Cock-Block Ramsay sending in the smokeshows only to pull the rip-cord just before things get fun was peak Troll Evil. We know what happened right after. Theon's manhood was mailed to his father, who promptly showed a hilarious lack of concern, while Ramsay solidified himself a spot on GoT Villain Mount Rushmore. Reek gave a helluva close shave, though.

6. Viserys Pimps His Own Sister: (Video is SFW, skips over the bewbs). The man who called himself 'Dragon' had a shorter reign than he probably imagined. This was the first scene in the entire series which set the table for the type of vicious and remorseless world that was Westeros/Essos. If it takes selling your sister out to a savage king and proclaiming he'd let thousands of men and horses bang her just to get the crown, that's what a man's gotta do! Viserys was way too weak to last, but he probably would have been a very similar king to Joffrey had he made it across the Narrow Sea. Love that blonde flow.

5. Littlefinger Takes out the Trash: In Westeros, sometimes you have to crack a few eggs if you want to make an omelet. Petyr Baelish knows this all too well. He did like 8 million evil things, but this one was simultaneously the most egregious and also the most satisfying. Littlefinger usually let other people do his dirty work, but he took matters into his own hands on this one and flushed that lactating turd Lysa down the toilet for good. Nobody missed her (other than her weirdo son).

4. Karl Tanner and That Pudgy Guy Turn Heel on The Night's Watch: Again, in the GoT universe, not everything is black and white. This scene resulted in the death of the super evil Craster, which most normal people probably thought was good. But you also had Jeor Mormont, who was objectively in the top 10% of the show's Good Guys, being stabbed in the back by his own men. Like Jaimie, I found it tough to blame them. They were starving and freezing to death beyond the Wall while Fat Ass Craster went to pound town on his own daughters and ate all the food. Something had to give! Side note - Burn Gorman, who plays Karl Tanner, plays a PHENOMENAL skeez ball. Great character actor.

3. The Night King Massacres Hardhome:

Alright, so this is just an excuse to post what I feel is the best battle scene of the entire series. Give me a sneak attack on the frigid landscape of Hardhome over the more traditional Battle of the Bastards / Blackwater scenes any day of the week. The truth is I really don't classify the Night King as the same brand of evil as the human characters because we were never really given much in the way of his motivations, which is the whole point of the show. By the end of the series, he ended up being no more than a cartoonish bad guy; a convenient plot device to drive the characters in the direction the showrunners wanted them to go. Infuriating given all that was invested - let's move on.

2. Joffrey Eats Power for Breakfast, Lunch and Dinner: NERD ALERT UPCOMING. Yes, I could have gone with Ned's head on a spike scene from before. Or the beheading. Or the crossbow scene. Or the other crossbow scene. Or chopping up his wedding gifts. I refuse! Too easy!! No, the sight of Sansa begging for her father's life and Joffrey showing a complete lack of regard for her suffering was magnificent drama, and even better in retrospect knowing what would happen. Joffrey enjoyed the groveling, and treated her begs as an opportunity to simply feed his huge ego. "He must admit that I AM THE KING. Or they'll be no mercy for him." What an absolute maniac.

1. Cersei is the HBOC: A rare misstep by Littlefinger leads to a tense exchange between he and the Queen. Cersei just flexing those muscles. Again - there are so many more overtly evil Cersei scenes I could have gone with here. However, this one is a masterclass in acting and everything that dorks like me loved about the show. No blood and guts, just political posturing where everybody knows that one wrong step, one wrong word, and you're dead. Cersei was probably my favorite character in the entire show - that's one bad bitch.

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That's that. I missed a comical amount of scenes, but what can you do when atrocities are being committed every week? The obvious one is Father of the Year Stannis burning his poor daughter at the stake. Even a cold, heartless bastard like me didn't want to relive that one. I also refuse to acknowledge Season 8 whatsoever, so Dany roasting thousands of people alive is DQ'd.

Cheers to the Bad Guy (or Girl), and Viva Team House Bolton. 2018 Denver Thursday Volleyball Champs. It's all about intimidation.