Steelers at the Quarter Pole + Prediction Accountability!

You remember that sound you heard late Sunday afternoon? That was a collective Philadelphia groan after realizing their 6-win team may 'earn' a January piss-pounding at hands of the Bears following Dak Prescott's injury. Oh, and Chase Claypool just scored another touchdown.

An NFL head coach will tell you the season happens one week at a time, but smart fans (or lazy bloggers) know better. The picture of an NFL team is painted in 4-game increments.

The Steelers have arrived at the quarter pole of this bizarre season with a perfect 4-0 record. Given their opponents have a combined 3 wins, Yinzer nation has shockingly (and appropriately) managed to curb it's enthusiasm. That doesn't mean fans haven't soaked up the victories, but with a division as competitive as the AFC North, the parade can wait.

Speaking of the AFC North, the Steelers real season begins next week with a home game vs. the 4-1 Browns....which is a real sentence I just typed.

How? Well, Cleveland's schedule hasn't exactly been murderers row either. Plus, it's always hard to take those turds seriously when they're 2-12-1 in their last 15 games vs. the Steelers. Nobody has forgotten about the 38-6 evisceration at the hands of Baltimore in Week 1. But Cleveland's offense of misfit (yet talented) toys is finally starting to look dangerous, and Myles Garrett is wreaking havoc on the other side of the ball. It will be fun to watch him try to bring down Ben, who will put up a much better fight than Mason Rudolph's skull.

Things don't get any easier the following two weeks. The Steelers go on the road for their next two - first in Nashville vs. the undefeated Tennessee Coronaviruses, then a Halloween hangover date in Baltimore. No Iron City Light on Carson Street is safe for that one.

Bottom line - when we check in again following the completion of the season's first half, we will know ALOT more about this team than we do now.

That said, everybody knows I'm a huge accountability guy. On the very, very rare occasions when I'm wrong, I own up to it. Just ask my girlfriend. There's nobody who's more gracious about being wrong that me. I LOVE to apologize.

After each quarter-season, we'll take a look at my flaming pre-season hot takes and see how they're trending. If I was wrong, bet your candy ass on an honest and sincere mea-culpa. If I was right...I'll be very mature about it and absolutely will not boast. Ever. Act like you've been there before.

Since we're only four games in, we'll go with four classifications: A) "on schedule", B) "not looking good", C) "I'm an idiot" or D) TBD

1. Big Ben: Will look awkward with his massive head and newly-petite figure. He will light up the Giants in Week 1 like a Christmas tree, then fall back down to earth a bit in Week 2-3. He will throw three interceptions in a game at least twice. He will also miss at least two games, because he's Big Ben. Despite all of that, he will finish the year a Top-7 QB in attempts, yards, completions, and TDs. ON SCHEDULE: Minus the injury thing. He's in the Top 7 in every category but yards (Steelers have led for huge stretches of the season and have run the ball a ton - those will come). He's #5 in passer rating and #7 in TDs. The offense is extremely dangerous, and Ben looks like his old self.

2. Defense: Timely turnovers and defensive scores inflated the Steelers defensive rankings last year. They will regress, and not finish in the Top-10 in either category. ON SCHEDULE: The defensive rankings are still great (#6 vs the pass / #2 vs. the run). However, the lack of splash plays vs. terrible competition is somewhat concerning, and certainly a regression from last year. No scores for the defense thus far (aside from one safety). They rank 29th(!!) in forced fumbles, which is shocking with that D-line. They do have 6 interceptions, but I think most would agree more is needed vs. the tough upcoming schedule.

3. Bud Dupree: Will call Shaq about getting an endorsement from Icy Hot, since he’ll be super hot and cold (and not good for a sack). He will have a couple huge games with two sacks and a forced fumble, and the other 13 weeks you'll have to check the box score to make sure he played. ON SCHEDULE / TBD: He terrorized the Giants, was pretty good against Houston, and sort of disappeared vs. Philly and Denver.

4. T.J. Watt: Will continue to be sexier than J.J and Derek. Unlike the NHL, NFL teams typically pay their star players throughout the majority of their careers. T.J. Watt won't make it easy on them. He will have yet another Pro-Bowl season with two interceptions, twelve sacks, and plenty of bicep veins. He will command Top-3 money at his position by next year. I mean...ON SCHEDULE: 1 pick, 8 tackles for loss, 5.5 sacks, etc...Watt is fantastic.

5. James Conner: Will have seven different haircuts. This will also be the year Yinzers lose patience with him once he goes down with a non-contact injury in Week 6. NOT LOOKING GOOD / TBD: Conner was briefly injured in Week 1, which would have made this a joyless slam-dunk. That said, he's looked very solid the last 3 weeks. He is doing exactly what the Steelers need him to do - be a league-average or better RB to keep defenses honest and open up the dangerous passing game. We'll see if he stays healthy.

6. Mortal Lock of the Year: After narrowly escaping the Bengals in Week 10, the Steelers will lose to Jacksonville in Week 11 ahead of a divisional showdown with the Ravens. Rub it down, lock it up, and take it straight to the bank. Tell your bookie I said sorry. TBD

7. Cam Heyward: Will be balder than you remember, but that won't stop him from terrorizing opposing QBs. If there is one guy who will live up to a nice fat contract, it's him. TBD: Cam hasn't lit up the stat sheet but has been a solid presence. That's what you need out of a anchor DT, but you'd like to see him force a couple more fumbles for splash plays in the later part of the season.

8. The Offense: Will be Jekyll and Hyde. Ben will throw too much (around 65% of downs), which will lead to consecutive games where they score 3 points then 40 points. Dionte Johnson will officially pass up Tik Tok Schuster as the clear-cut #1, which isn't really great news for anybody other than Johnson. Speaking of JuJu...NOT LOOKING GOOD: Technically, this could be "on schedule" considering the Steelers are at the middle of the pack in pretty much every meaningful category (their highest ranking is PPG - 10th). But, I think that's going to change as Ben continues to get comfortable with all his toys. They are trending to be elite.

9. JuJu Smith-Schuster: Will be #trending on Twitter at least 37 times this year, with Mark Madden and 93.7 the Fan squeezing every bit of content they can out of him before he leaves next year. Honestly, I don't really have a strong opinion on the guy. I think some of his social media shenanigans are incredibly embarrassing and juvenile, but I'm also an old out-of-touch bitch who doesn't know shit about building a brand. JuJu getting single-coverage during the AB years probably inflated expectations for him beyond what was reasonable, and now he's paying for it. That's probably a little unfair, but it ain't like he does himself any favors. Silly games = silly prizes. ON SCHEDULE: Dionte Johnson was already challenging JuJu for the WR1 honors, and that was before the emergence of Claypool. Mr. Lit will be gone next year. So far, he has been a good teammate about everything but it can't be easy for him. He did score twice in Week 1, but hasn't gone over 48 yards in the 3 games since. Woof. At least Tik Tok isn't banned yet (or is it?)

10. Minkah Fitzpatrick: What's the saying for client-relations in business? Under-promise, over-deliver? Minkah will wish he lived by that credo. Like JuJu, he will earn the ire of the mongoloid Yinzer media because of unrealistic expectations set via alien-level production last year. Nonetheless, he'll be rock-solid with at least five picks and two scores. ON SCHEDULE: The "What's Wrong with Minkah?" articles are already starting. Steelers fans/media (same thing at this point) are so spoiled at the safety position. They're #6 in passing D - he's fine. The turnovers will come. The Dolphins took Austin Jackson with the Steelers' #18 pick they traded for Minkah. Who is Austin Jackson? Exactly - shut up.

11. David Decastro: Will give lots of good, sincere, angry quotes after losses. TBD: No losses yet! He was hurt last week, hope he's OK.

12. Devin Bush: Will have the flyest rat-tail in the league. He'll also have a Pro-Bowl year. NOT LOOKING GOOD: Bush has been pretty underwhelming, there's not much else to say. You don't really notice him out there, which is not something you want to be saying about your 1st round LB in his sophomore year.

13. Terrell Edmunds: Will continue to search for a fourth brother so they can finally transform into the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles before the Watts get to it first. He will also be visibly three steps late on at least five deep touchdowns. I hate saying this - I'm sure Edmunds is a nice guy and I always like to root for guys from my alma-mater (Go Hokies). But he kinda stinks, right? ON SCHEDULE: I'm not going to look-up his game tape, but based on my Twitter timeline, there is consensus he is the weakest part of the defense.

14. The Ravens: Will win the division easily, despite slightly regressing. Record will be 12-4, and Robert Griffin III will play in at least two games. I also hate saying this because Lamar Jackson is firmly my favorite non-Steeler (see, I told you I wasn't emotional). I just simply refuse to believe a guy who plays that way can get through a season fully healthy once teams have a full off-season to prepare for the MVP. Now, I also think he throws a much better ball than he's given credit for. Should he become more of a Mahomes / Wilson / Watson type where he passes first and runs only when called upon, then look the fuck out. NOT LOOKING GOOD: Most would agree Baltimore is the AFC North's team to beat, but the key word here is "easily". The Steelers don't appear ready to crown them just yet, and the Browns, as mentioned, are TRENDY. This will be a season-long fight.

15. Chris Boswell: Will be working at Enterprise Rent-a-Car by Week 10. They really give you the tools to be your own boss. I'M AN IDIOT: He's perfect! Well, 2-2 anyway. Didn't he miss an extra point somewhere? Whatever, he's fine. Sorry, Boz.

16. Chase Claypool: I'm a closet Notre Dame fan (boooo!), so I want Chase to do well. No time for emotional takes though - my gut tells me he will be the least impactful Steelers top pick in years. Not necessarily his fault - they got him in Round 2. He will struggle to earn targets. Good chance he shoves this up my hoop considering the Steelers' history of drafting WRs. I'M AN IDIOT: But at least I hedged. He has indeed shoved this up my ass. Just like I said he would.

17. Jordan Dangerfield: Will be called exclusively "Rodney" by me for the entire year. ON SCHEDULE

18. Joshua Dobbs / Mason Rudolph: Will both stink in relief, mainly due to being involved in a love triangle with Hannah-Ann from the Bachelor. Mercy. TBD

19. Eric Ebron: Nothing to say but solid fit. Eight TDs, will finish a Top-10 Fantasy TE. NOT LOOKING GOOD: Ebron had a couple of big drops last week, both nearly ending in disaster. He's seen a reasonable amount of targets but there's only so many balls to go around. The team needs him to capitalize on his opportunities, starting now.

20. The Secondary: Joe Haden and Steven Nelson will take turns each week on who's turn it is to suck while the other plays great. Mike Hilton will have two interceptions in incredibly huge moments and not be heard from again the balance of the year. ON SCHEDULE: Hilton already has one huge pick. Haden has been decent, but seems to lead the league in questionable PI calls in big moments. Not all his fault - just an observation.

21. Mike Tomlin: Will allow Mike Epps to coach one game just to see if anyone notices. Just kidding. Tomlin is perhaps the best leader in the NFL, and the worst clock--and-challenge-manager. Seriously, I think he's like 5-for-23 on challenges the last four years. He'll cost them at least one game with an inexplicable gaffe. That said, you can count on one hand the number of coaches I'd rather have. It's been said before but bears repeating: He deserves the Nobel Peace Prize for managing the AB/Lev Bell/Early Ben teams for as long as he did. He missed the playoffs in 2018 for the first time in 6 years, and 2019 doesn't count with Duck Hodges' corpse playing QB. Bounce-back year for Mike T. ON SCHEDULE: Mike T. is certainly bouncing back. No big clock gaffes yet but the season is early. Regardless, Pittsburgh is lucky to have him. There are so many bad coaches (and owners who don't give them opportunities to succeed).

22. Final Record: 9-7....but they'll make the playoffs! The Texans, Ravens, Chiefs, and Bills are going to run away with their divisions. Pencil in the Steelers and Pats as the wild-card teams. NOT LOOKING GOOD: Barring injury or a huge collapse, the Steelers look like one of the top 4-5 teams in the AFC. 10 - 12 wins seems reasonable. Long season to go.

Only two IDIOT classifications - not bad! Expect more as the season goes on. Go 'Lers.

OH - and big ups to Ryan Shazier for being a classy and tough son of a bitch following his official retirement last month. He will be a Steeler for life, and a beast at whatever is next. I don't know how many of us could have made a meal out of the shit sandwich he was served. Well done.