Mile High Yinzer

Penguins hockey and humor with a view from the Rockies

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Pens vs. Habs Recap: R1G2 (feat. The Wallflowers)

There are three things the internet is over-saturated with: Porn, cat memes, and stuffy hockey bloggers. Last I checked, Ron Cook still...

Gooey

Aug 4, 20204 min read

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Which Craigslist Friend Do I Connect With First?

I know this is hard to believe, but there was a time when I was extremely lonely. Day after day, night after night, same old routine. ...

Gooey

Aug 3, 20205 min read

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Lying To Children

And we're back. There's no such thing as a "hard working blogger", so I'll stop short of saying the 3 week break was well-deserved. ...

Gooey

Aug 3, 20204 min read

1 comment

Hockey Heaven: The PBR Pond Tournament

There's nothing like reminiscing about a crisp winter bluebird day on the pond after a muggy week in the 90's mid-pandemic. Fun times....

Gooey

Jul 10, 20204 min read

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Fighting Animals to the Death

I was sitting around the fire with friends and family over the 4th when somehow we got on the topic of fighting bears. Our lake house is...

Gooey

Jul 9, 20204 min read

1 comment

Dreamier Dream Job: Maury Povich vs. Titanic Thompson

If you know me, you know how much I love two things: 1) Winning money in highly questionable ways, and 2) Watching people voluntarily...

Gooey

Jul 9, 20204 min read

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An Honest Discussion on Wearing Masks

It's hard for me to admit this, but I haven't always been the biggest fan of masks. It all started long ago. There were a lot of people...

Gooey

Jul 8, 20204 min read

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DiCaprio and Mayer Have NOTHING on Fictional Jerry Seinfeld

I was watching Seinfeld for the 1,748th time the other night when my girlfriend remarked from the basement "How do these guys get all...

Gooey

Jul 2, 20204 min read

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The Existence of "Playmakers" Will Forever Confuse Me

Nobody likes a tattletale, but in 2003, ESPN decided to tattle on itself. Or at least, tattle on it's biggest business partner in the...

Gooey

Jul 2, 20203 min read

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The Enduring Lunacy of Travis Rice

There's a scene in 2004 Oscar contender Harold & Kumar go to White Castle where a bunch of cartooinshly punk-rock bullies are harassing...

Gooey

Jul 1, 20203 min read

1 comment

Holy Mackerel! And Other Forgotten Phrases

Would a Holy Mackerel condemn Kanye West for being a Gay Fish? We might never know. In addition to "Holy Mackerel", which is a perfect...

Gooey

Jun 30, 20206 min read

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Fingernails vs. Boogers: Are You in Danger?

Pro Tip: If you want to be taken seriously, try not to have a nickname like "Gooey" or "Booger". Now that we got that out of the way, on...

Gooey

Jun 25, 20203 min read

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The Honi-Honi: 50 Funky Years and Counting

Most bars are famous in one way or another for something. A great open mic night, brunch scene, still allowing smoking, cheap beers, not...

Gooey

Jun 24, 20206 min read

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5 Assholes Who Ruined a Good First Name

If you're ever insane enough to have a kid, you'll inevitably go through it. Poring over an endless list of names with your significant...

Gooey

Jun 24, 20203 min read

1 comment

More "Reaction" Options for Texting

I was reading another blog today which addressed the age-old question of when/where/how it is appropriate to respond to text "reactions",...

Gooey

Jun 23, 20203 min read

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Recurring Dreams: What They Actually Mean

There's no shame in wetting the bed from a scary dream at age 31. Heck, if COVID forces me to move home, I look forward to sleeping in...

Gooey

Jun 23, 20204 min read

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The Rust Belt Tailgating Soundtrack, and Why It's Better Than Yours

The great thing about sharing your 1) civic pride and 2) opinion on music is that people will generally treat you with respect, leaving...

Gooey

Jun 19, 20204 min read

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Ditch the Masks: Bring On COVID Capes

The opportunity to make the cape an acceptable fashion accessory has evaded me for years, but the day has finally arrived. If I'm Jack...

Gooey

Jun 18, 20203 min read

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Who Else Browned Out for 22 Years?

Today's topic is a phenomenon that frightened me for a long time until I discovered it may be far more common than I originally thought....

Gooey

Jun 17, 20205 min read

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TV: Grooming Your Toddlers for Jail

People always ask me why their kids are growing up to be criminals, and I always tell them it starts with the Disney Channel. Below...

Gooey

Jun 10, 20204 min read

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