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Avoiding bathroom attendants like the plague
Mile High Yinzer
Penguins hockey and humor with a view from the Rockies
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Steelers at the Quarter Pole + Prediction Accountability!
You remember that sound you heard late Sunday afternoon? That was a collective Philadelphia groan after realizing their 6-win team may...
Gooey
Oct 12, 20209 min read
1 comment
A Heroic 2013 Pittsburgh South Side Bar Crawl
For any 30-something, you might remember a time in life when pride meant something. When getting fricked up with your boys was more...
Gooey
Oct 8, 20206 min read
1 comment
Penguins Latest: Johnson, Murray, Easy-Mac, and Van Halen
Like the soundtrack to this blog was going to be anybody but Jack Johnson. So...things have happened in Penguins land. We'll get to big...
Gooey
Oct 6, 20205 min read
0 comments
The 'Nathan for You' Hall of Fame
The internet was blessed today with the trailer for HBO's new TV show How To with John Wilson, which you can watch in the margin if it so...
Gooey
Oct 2, 20207 min read
0 comments
Abolish Sadie Hawkins
It's no secret that 2020 has been unkind to us all, but Gooey is my name and finding silver linings is my game. One of the...
Gooey
Oct 2, 20203 min read
1 comment
Killing Movies in Their Infancy - Part 1
With the exception of Benjamin Button, which was a shot-for-shot re-enactment of Andy Milonakis' life, most movies these days take plenty...
Gooey
Oct 1, 20204 min read
0 comments
Sound the Horns feat. Brasstracks and Mike Matheson
- In honor of Horny, the soundtrack to this blog will be brought to you by the criminally underrated Brasstracks. A fleet of horns...
Gooey
Sep 25, 20203 min read
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The Yips Olympics
Every year on the anniversary of 9.11, I scroll through social media and inevitably come across The Pitch. For as much fun as Getting...
Gooey
Sep 23, 20205 min read
2 comments
The 2020 Steelers Flaming-Hot Takes
First things first: My heart belongs to hockey, my gambling brain belongs to football. I prefer the college variety, but every once in...
Gooey
Sep 10, 20205 min read
1 comment
8 Massively Embarrassing Fantasy Football Punishments
I can't think of a more important, noteworthy, and impactful date on America's 2020 calendar than today, September 10th. Don't get me...
Gooey
Sep 10, 20203 min read
1 comment
Reirden, Kapanen, and....Stale Bread?
Good afternoon and happy pre-Labor Day. I trust everyone has had fun watching some rooting-interest-free hockey these last few weeks. ...
Gooey
Sep 3, 20205 min read
0 comments
Do NOT Miss These Network TV Shows!
Most men hate football. Every fall, we pretend to be excited because that's what our women expect from us - bloodlust and beer guts. ...
Gooey
Sep 3, 20205 min read
0 comments
How Much Jail Time Is Too Much Jail Time?
If you're blessed with girly legs, a tight ass, and a smoking-hot effeminate face like I am, the question has undoubtedly crossed your...
Gooey
Sep 2, 20204 min read
0 comments
Cupid's Arrow is Coming for These Celebrities
I just went to the convenience store to load up on gas, Swiss Rolls, and condoms like I do every Friday. As I was waiting in line I saw...
Gooey
Aug 21, 20203 min read
1 comment
Punching Down: Unathletic Children on Nickelodeon
Everybody knows the fastest way for a full grown man to display his lack of insecurity is to make fun of a bunch of kids embarrassing...
Gooey
Aug 20, 20205 min read
0 comments
Bar 11: Pittsburgh Weird-Bar Royalty
As a barely-employed turd on the wrong side of 30, missing out on the 2am last call hasn't exactly been the biggest loss of this whole...
Gooey
Aug 18, 20205 min read
0 comments
Choosing My Groomsmen
Like any well-adjusted male youth, I grew up dreaming of one thing and one thing only: Being a groom. When the other neighborhood boys...
Gooey
Aug 12, 20205 min read
0 comments
Pens vs. Habs Recap: R1G4 (feat. Green Day)
Apologies for the late recap, dealing with some technical/internet issues this weekend (mostly of my own making). In the end, it was...
Gooey
Aug 10, 20207 min read
0 comments
Pens vs. Habs Recap: R1G3 (feat. Hootie & The Blowfish)
Every time I think about getting rid of Twitter, which is an absolute cesspool, I remind myself of nights like last. There's a certain...
Gooey
Aug 6, 20207 min read
1 comment
Ode to Speed + Reverse Power-Ranking the Terrible Side Characters
Pop Quiz, Hotshot: Who's the most underrated actor of our time? Answer: Keanu Reeves. What is Keanu Reeves' most underrated role? ...
Gooey
Aug 5, 20207 min read
1 comment
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